Too Fast, Too Soon

I sometimes long
For the carefree days
Of my childhood.
Back when I had no cares
And every day
Was a week long.
Everything was amazing
And everything was beautiful
Because I was little.
And everything was big
And grown-ups,
And being one of them
Was so far away.
But now I'm here
Standing on the cusp of adulthood
Looking back to my past
To my childhood
To those carefree days.
Because all these things
And all these responsibilities
And this life that I don't really have
Are intimidating me.
I don't feel ready.
I grew up too fast already
And I can never get that childhood back.
I missed out on so much
Feeling like I had to be big
Or like I had to be strong.
Feeling depressed, or scared,
Or lonely, or frightened,
Or even stressed out,
Before I should have been.
I wish I could have grown into this adulthood
Instead of stepping into these adult shoes
When they were still too big.
Now,
They're supposed to fit.
But I've been wearing them for so long
That I didn't really notice
How I've grown into them.
How I've grown up.
How now,
I'm actually an adult.  
No longer even a teenager.
And I'm facing the wrong way
In these shoes.
Looking back
To what I can't have
Because I can't turn back time.
I have to turn around,
And take those steps forward
To be an actual adult.
To be a grown-up.
The days of childhood are over,
But I'm still scared.
I wish that I hadn't
Grown up so fast.
Because this hard and thick exterior
Is mostly just hiding
A frightened and intimidated
Child inside
Who just wants to come out and be free.
But it's time for her to move on
And it's time for me to move on
And realize
How life is.
Because here I am
And time is moving forward
And there's no going back.